State of the World Today
 
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER - (THE CLASSIC  
VERSION) 
 The ant works hard 
in the withering heat all summer long, building his 
 house 
and laying up supplies for the winter.  The grasshopper thinks he's 
 a fool and laughs and dances and plays 
the summer away. 
Come winter, 
the ant is warm and well fed.  The grasshopper has no food 
 
or shelter so he dies out in the cold. 
(THE MODERN VERSION, C. 2000)
The ant works hard in the withering heat 
all summer long, building his 
 house 
and laying up supplies for the winter.  The grasshopper thinks he's 
 a  fool and laughs and dances and 
plays the summer away. 
Come 
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and 
 
demands to know why the ant should be allowed 
to be warm and well 
 fed while 
others are cold and starving.  CBS, CNN, NBC and ABC 
 show 
up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video 
 of the ant in his comfortable home with 
a table filled with food.  America 
 and 
the world is stunned by the sharp contrast.   How can it be that, in a 
 country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper 
is allowed to suffer so? 
Then 
a representative of the NAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) 
 shows up on Nightline and charges the ant 
with "green bias," and makes 
 the 
case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. 
 Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the 
grasshopper, and everybody 
 cries 
when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." 
Bill 
and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS 
 
Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather 
that they will do everything 
 they 
can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he 
 
deserves by those who benefited unfairly during 
the Reagan summers, 
 or, as 
Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's." 
Richard 
Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the 
 
ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, 
and calls for an 
 immediate 
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."  Finally, 
 the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity 
and Anti-Greenism Act." 
 Retroactive 
to the beginning of the summer, the ant was fined for failing 
 
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs 
and, having nothing left to 
 pay 
his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. 
The story ends as we see the grasshopper 
finishing up the last bits of 
 the 
ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens 
 to be the ant's old house, crumbles around 
him since he doesn't know 
 how 
to maintain it.  The ant has disappeared in the snow.  And on the 
 TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling 
most of the ant's food, 
 they 
are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group 
 of compatriots announcing that a new era 
of "fairness" has dawned in 
 America.